Review: Our Friendship Rules

I have had this book out of the library for so embarrassingly long without reviewing it that it is now overdue. I was waiting for a book about the friendship between two pre-teen girls to relate to something in my two year-old's life, and I never really found the hook. I have to get this back to the library, and besides, it is too good to keep it to myself any longer. So, I'm going to share it now, with this weak hook.

I've started talking to the Infant Bibliophile about Thanksgiving, and what it means to be thankful for things. We play a little game as we go for walks in his stroller, where I ask him to tell me things that he is thankful for, i.e. that make him happy. Here are some of his recent answers:
"Mama" (I'm always first!)
"Yaya" (yellow - then he points to everything yellow he can find)
"Dada, dame!" (playing board games with Daddy)
"Honeydew" (he does eat honeydew, but I think he just loves to say the word)

So, as Thanksgiving nears, and we all start to think about the things in our life that we are most thankful for, friendship will be near the top of my list.  (I told you it was a weak hook).  Now let's see if I can do this book justice.

Our Friendship Rules (Hardcover), by Peggy Moss and Dee Dee Tardif (Illustrated by Alissa Imre Geis). "It's pretty easy to join the cool crowd. All you have to do is ditch your best friend first. Alexandra and Jenny have been best friends for a long time. But when Alexandra is momentarily dazzled by the glamour of a new girl at school, she's willing to do almost anything to get to be the cool girl's friend. Ultimately, she tells her best friend Jenny's biggest, most important secret - and just like that, Alexandra is in! When Alexandra realizes what it feels like to lose her best friend, and see the hurt she's caused, she knows she has to figure out a way to regain the relationship that's far more important to her than being invited to sit with the popular girls."  The story line of the book is a familiar one, but it is beautifully covered here. The authors tell the story brilliantly in Alexandra's voice.  Reading it made me feel 13 again.  They capture how amazingly close friendships feel at that age, with their secrets and endless hours together: "We sit next to each other on the bus. We play cards in her tree house. We spy on my brother. During recess, we play 'Jenny Tag.'  It's really complicated.  And fun.  We made up rules. Jenny keeps them in her pocket, just in case."  I love this excerpt:  'Jenny and I aren't really friends anymore, I said.  'She talks too loud.'  I felt a little sick to my stomach when I said it.  But only for a minute, because Rolinda smiled a big welcome-to-my-club smile and said, 'You're right!'"  

The illustrations are fantastic.  The girls look modern in a way that young girls would really relate to, and the drawings of them are interspersed with illustrations that the main character has drawn - the most powerful one a black and white sketch (with a bit of red) of Jenny in tears, labeled "And this is what Jenny Martin looks like when she can't believe that her best friend told a story about her just to impress the coolest girl in the school."

No doubt about it, the world of pre-teen/teen girls is complicated and can be downright cruel. I think this is a fantastic book, especially for young girls (maybe boys too - I'll tell you in a few years as my little guy ages).  My friends and I may have benefited from a copy when I was younger, as we tended to have shifting alliances and weren't necessarily the best friends we could have been to each other.

Excerpt:

"Rolinda let me sit at her table at lunch. She and her friends talked about how Jenny Martin looks just like a lizard because she is so small. 'All she does is run around and hide under things,' Rolanda laughed. I sat quiet as a leaf. I didn't say a word."

Bookworm's interest at 24 months: Too young, though we glanced at the illustrations.  The suggested age is 4-8, but I wouldn't hesitate to share it with older girls who need a lesson in friendship.

Source: library copy.

Comment

Do you have any other books about friendship that you or your children enjoy?  Any fond or terrible memories of friendship that you feel the need to share?  I'm happy to put the drama of those days behind me, but I do sometimes miss the intensity of the friendships from that stage of life.

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